The Armchair Critic

Yes, that's what my four year old daughter asked me when we were at Heaven 'n Eggs in Tomas Morato. We were finally able to snag a parking space right in front of the restaurant. Parking space is always a premium in Morato.

The restaurant is bright and sunshiney. The pale blue walls with cloud paintings helped give that illusion. My daughters had fun counting the number of angels hanging from the ceilings. My son had a kick out of the waiters who were wearing wings.

The menu is quite extensive, but as the name indicates, this is a place where you could get eggs, primarily. Cooked any which way - scrambled, sunny-side up, poached, baked. With it's waffles and pancakes, it's actually an all-day breakfast place.

I knew the kids won't be eating much so we ordered them the regular waffles. Not being adventurous eaters, they frown on fruits like blueberries or peaches on their food. My son (the predictable) had the kid's meal of chicken and spaghetti. My husband was intrigued by the Germany vs. Brazil item on the menu. It's a tribute to the FIFA contenders, with German sausages and barbecue cooked churarosco style. Since I have this thing about Eggs Benedicts, I had to order their version with crabs and salmon on a bagel. We also ordered Pinoy Nachos - crispy lumpia wrappers with adobo flakes, cheese and mangoes.

When we arrived, we heard the table to next to us following up their order. Half their group was already halfway through their meal. The other half's order had yet to arrive. I looked around and the place wasn't even full. I wondered what they ordered for it to take so long.

Anyway, the waffles were the first to arrive, which was fine as I had time to supervise the girls' eating. Then my Eggs Benedict came. I had a kick from the crab and the salmon but the bagel ruined the experience for me. It was tough and hard to cut with a knife. I ended up breaking pieces of it by hand to mop up the egg yolk on my plate. I know, I know, bagels are supposed to be tough and chewy. But they are best served hot and fresh from the grill or toaster. Mine were quite cold when they arrived thus the difficulty.

I had almost finished my eggs when my son's kiddie meal arrived. There was no sign of my husband's order yet. The other table finally got what looked like poached eggs. It took that long to poach an egg? My husband checked the time and it had been more than thirty minutes since we had given our orders. His eyes are now starting to glaze over. He had already followed up with the waiter but they didn't give him any feedback at all. Finally he told the waiter to just cancel his order and asked me if I minded his leaving and eating at the restaurant next door. I could see he was already very upset so I let him go. This is one instance where heaven can't wait.

A few minutes after he had walked out, the waiter arrived with his food. I asked what took them so long and that my husband had already left to get his food elsewhere. The waiter looked panicked and I took pity on him so I called my husband back on his cellphone. He had already ordered at the other place but he came back.

The Germany vs Brazil was quite good. The barbecue was tender and succulent. Unfortunately, my husband couldn't take more than two bites because he wasn't hungry anymore. Nalipasan na ng gutom. I ended up picking his plate.

The waiters were very apologetic and they gave us free pancakes. As an apology, it wasn't much because it was the cheapest on the menu and I had brazenly asked for free dessert. (Hey, it wasn't the best dining experience we ever had, after all.) Besides, the girls couldn't even finish their waffle so no one was really interested in the pancakes.

I can't say that I'm going back to eat at Heaven 'n Eggs again. The whole dining experience wasn't quite so heavenly and the food was expensive. A can of Coke costs P55.00 without VAT. Not even the Eggs Benedict was worth going back to. Next time I have a craving for eggs, I'll just make clarified butter, get some fresh milk and break out the eggs. At home - where service is at it's finest.